Thursday, September 15, 2005

Bless You

I'm allergic to dust, so when I opened the file today - it was dusty - it set me off again.


"Bless you!"


"Bless you!"


"Bless you! My goodness!"

The lady on the other side of my cubicle is one of those older busybody types. You know the kind - they always want to tell you about what their stupid kid is up to. Like, no matter who you might be talking to in your cubicle, she likes to barge in and offer her two unwanted cents to your conversation, inevitably steering the conversation towards something her son did. She has one of those interrupting, intrusive personalities, the kind I dislike most.

And she always "blesses" me when I sneeze. And since I sneeze a lot during the day, I'm getting blessed a lot.

Why? What for? Also, what do you do when you are "blessed" after you sneeze?

At first, I'd offer a grunting, "yeah, thanks," whenever it happened (to suggest to her I don't really want or need any post-sneeze blessing), but Busybody Lady never caught on. So now I just ignore her when it happens. Even someone more accomodating than me would inevitably arrive at this strategy after a while, especially when you sneeze dozens of times a day.

Seriously though, cut it out. Don't bless me anymore, it's stupid. Also, I don't like the reminder than I can be heard doing my business inside my cubicle. Pretend it didn't happen, for crissakes. What happened to discretion? This woman though, I have the feeling she'll always do it. It makes me wonder what she would do if she heard me fart in there, which also happens sometimes. Does a fart merit a blessing?

At least she doesn't say, "Gesundheit." Many people don't know this, but if you say "Gesundheit" after a sneeze, what you're saying in English is, "I'm a Nazi!"

So the next time somebody says, "Gesundheit" to you, give them the death stare and say, "I am not a Nazi, thank you very much."

I think I'll tell Busybody Lady I'm Hindu, and that her blessing offends my religion. I'm afraid to say anything though, because she might start rattling on about her son, and then I might be forced to strangle her.

Argus is Back

Wow, what a month. Updates have been few because I didn't own a computer any more, a situation that was only rectified last night. I am now again capable of surfing for naked celebrities with impunity.

I don't have time for a long entry, but here is a quick social observation - you know when you're walking down the street, and a few of those skateboard kids come rolling toward you? Well, why is it that these guys are always attempting some kind of stupid stunt or trick move, but instead of pulling it off, they are constantly falling on the asses instead? I don't know if I've ever seen the successful completion of a stunt. No, they begin some silly jump or twisting manoever, the board goes hissing off into the gutter, and the slouching skate-punk gets up off the pavement and ambles off after it.

Why is there such a lack of skate-punk talent? Probably because the kinds of kids who become skate-punks are no-talent losers to start with, but gawd. I want to see a trick work for once.