Insurance - a Ripoff

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...and that's nothing new to anyone who pays it. We pay for car insurance, home insurance, life insurance. Whatever, we pay it. And heaven help anyone who dares to make a claim - they can expect their premium cost to send them into the poorhouse for the rest of their life because they ran the Caddy into a tree and wanted a "free" car. But all this, it's another story. It's just the usual knock against insurance companies in general. I just want to relate my own, very recent experience.

In Ontario, insurance has been kind of a hot issue for the elected Liberal government. They were supposed to lower insurance premiums of all kinds - but most particularly, on cars - shortly after election. While not quite managing the percentage cut they promised for a lot of people, friends and colleagues have been telling me that their renewals have come in this year a bit lower than last year. The advertised rate reduction was supposed to be about 10%.

My premium last year on my motorcycle was $1365. The mail came today - and whoopie! It was down to $1242. For your information, that's about 9% less. I should be happy, right? I decided to call the insurance company to double-check my policy, something I do as a matter of course every time I get papers from whatever trained monkey works in their mailing department. I do this because one time, a rather large mathematical error was included in my paperwork, and I don't feel like giving insurance companies any more money than I have to.

And as I always do when I'm on the horn with Joe Insurance, I asked if I could price the insurance tab for a different kind of bike. I'm always interested in seeing what else is out there, and how much it would cost me to ride it. Bikes, they have new ones every season, in all the colours of the rainbow - I gots ta know, right? I currently ride a 2001 Suzuki SV650. The one I was wondering about was the upgraded SV1000. The 2005 edition is all black, all of it. Frame, paint, body panels, rims. Black. It looks like Batman's motorcycle, and I've been eyeing it up for a while. How much, man?

So I had Joe key in the stats. For the identical coverage that's currently on my 650 - fire, theft, $1,000,000 liability. It's all standard. All he had to do was enter a few keystrokes for the 1000, and he had my quote.

How much was it?

Wait for it. While you do, let me explain the differences between an SV1000 and an SV650.

1.) First, they are made by the same company. Suzuki. One has an engine displacement of 650 cc's. The other, 1000. Simple enough. One has a bigger engine. You're familiar with this concept, I'm sure, from driving cars around.

2.) The SV1000 I got the quote for was a 2005. What the heck. My 650 is a 2001. Still a fine bike, but 4 years older, nonetheless. And I'd know the worst-case scenario regarding insurance coverage on a brand new bike - because they cost the most to replace.

3.) Here's where it gets exciting. The SV1000 has about 115 horsepower to the rear tire. My SV650 makes 70 horsepower on a good day. Back to the calculator, and we find that the 1000 is 64% more powerful than the 650. And just so you know, 115 horses between your knees, in grand understatement, is a lot of power. Most likely, it's too much power. My car makes 80 horsepower. Most entry level Civics and Cavaliers make about 115 horsepower - 2,500 pound vehicles. An SV100o is a 400 pound motorcycle. My little 650 pulls my arms from their sockets when I hit the gas - it'll go from 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds when I want it to (and often do). That'll beat 99% of the cars on the road.

But a 115 horsepower SV1000? You'd better have arms like an orangutan to hang onto it. That's a shitload of ponies, pardon my French.

4.) The SV1000 is worth more. Replacement insurance value, $9,000 (you can get one easy for that.) My 650, well, it's more like $5,000. The upside of this is, I should theoretically get an insurance break because my bike costs less to replace, right?

5.) Top speed. I previously explained that my 650 is a fun and quick bike, but is capable of going no faster than 130 mph. 135 down a hill, with the wind on my back, maybe. The 1000? Well, I've read that it can make 165-170. I have no doubts that it can.

Maybe you see where I'm going with all this. The 1000 is a superior bike in every single measurable way to my 650. Faster, newer, worth more, upgraded technology - look, let's cut to the chase. It's the cat's ass. How much does it cost to insure it?

$965 for the year.

I'm telling you, I had to hear it twice before that sunk in. Okay - so you're telling me that it's about $300 less to insure annually than my current bike? (I rapidly laid out the points I wrote down above). And...this makes no difference? How on earth could it not?

"It's all in how the bike company rates their bikes, sir," Joe says.

What about how you rate them?

"We have actuaries for that."

I guess actuaries don't ride. Or else they wouldn't encourage me to buy a newer, faster, cooler motorcycle to kill myself on and cost their company even more in payouts. Seriously, what's the message here? The figures are no mistake, I was told.

"I'm going to double-check your policy, though - I'll get back to you later, all right?"

No sweat. If the line is busy, it's because I'm buying an SV1000.

Idiots.